Belize

It finally happened, I am no longer a Peace Corps Volunteer. And to commemorate the event I left El Salvador with a few friends and hit the road for a short vacation in Belize.

Things started off with a real bang. We hopped a bus that we heard about through the grapevine that leaves from the Belize embassy and drops you off in the Belmopan, the capital of Belize. Well when we got there it was tiny and painted like a circus van covered in tourist signs. Things immediately got interesting when the tarp didn't cover the luggage and it rained. After solving that problem, we got going and one of the bags fell off the roof rack. Luckily it wasn't my bag, but we had to stop and re-organize all the luggage on the roof right there on the side of the highway. In the best decision of the day Matt and I decided to have a quick beer in Guatemala before crossing into Belize. It turned out to be the best decision all day because the two people we were supposed to leave at the border weren't being let through, and although we were supposed to leave them, our drivers wouldn't leave. So two hours later we finally loaded up our van and to our surprise, instead of leaving two people, we picked up an extra. Meanwhile through all of this the others in the van talked about us "Gringos" to the drivers, fully aware that all spoke spanish and understood everything. But everything was redeemed upon getting to Bryan's house and finding two large pizzas and cold beers waiting for us. Nothing says welcome like beer, pizza and a friendly face.

The second day was just as adventurous. The plan was to get to Placencia, a beach peninsula in the southern part of Belize, by taking the local buses. Well we got on the 12pm bus and it was like bizarro world. The bus was colorful, but not as colorful as we had been used to. The seats had not been adjusted to try to squeeze in three and two passengers and people weren't elbowing you to rush to the seats. The bizarro kicker was that the vendors started getting on and selling all the old favorites IN ENGLISH. I had never even thought of what to call plantain chips in english until the other day. Two buses and a water taxi later we got to our hotel. We immediately changed and jumped in the ocean where Erin and I were promptly stung by a jellyfish. All was made well by finding a restaurant that served more mexican style food and the Guatemalan waitress was relieved to speak to us in spanish.

The third day had little special to speak of except that it was a pleasant day spent by the beach and exploring Placencia. We had dinner at a tasty restaurant that we picked because there was an englishman playing guitar. Although the qualifications where lax for our restaurant choice, it was very good and I had an awesome piece of fish.

The fourth day was the big one. We had reserved a "Rasta Sail" the previous evening and were desperately hoping for the rain to pass so we could have a good day on our boat. On our way we wanted to stop by the office and see if we were going out or if there was a refund available, however it was closed. So we just went to find the boat and our Rasta Captain. We wound up sailing out into choppy water and driving rain. Angie did her thing and complained most of the way, but we made it to a private caye, appropriately named Sipro Caye (spelled differently than Cipro, but pronounced the same). Once there we swam to shore and Jasp, our Rasta captain, cooked us up a Barracuda and a vegetable dish on an open fire. Then he took us for a snorkel all the way around the island before we got back in the boat and steeled ourselves for a a sail back to shore and more rain.

The fifth day was spent relaxing on the beach again and trying to make proper time to the bus back to Belmopan and Bryan. Again he was our saviour with a pasta and salad and beer as always.

The Most Selfish Thing I Have Ever Done

Think hard about that. What is the most selfish thing you have ever done? I know I've done my share of selfish things. None of us are free from our childhood fits when we NEEDED that new G.I. Joe or Barbie. Not just childhood flights of fancy, how many of us bought that awesome new album instead of a text book. But I'm not talking small selfish actions, I mean something huge that affected everyone around you. I did something like that. That something was joining the Peace Corps.
I know what everyone is thinking, Peace Corps is a selfless thing to do, not a selfish thing. That is true, I have been working in another country, for the welfare of another people, in another language for changes that I will never be able to enjoy. I am sure everyone who has benefitted from that work is sufficiently thankful. The truth is that I joined the Peace Corps in a large part for selfless reasons, the desire to do something for my fellow man, to live up to the values I have been taught, to give a bit of the bounty that I was born with. But at the same time I would be lying if I was to say that there wasn't substantial selfish motivation as well. On a whole I think I am getting the better part of the benefits of my Peace Corps service.
Peace Corps is and always will be an intensely personal and selfish thing. You are separated from friends and family, cut off from familiar places and things and generally isolated from what you knew. You must develop the courage to confront your new situation, the motivation to get up and do something, the fortitude to withstand failure and the confidence that what you are doing actually matters. When all is said and done here, the only constant of my service is me and what I have learned. I can only hope that the people I worked with picked up even a fraction of the personal knowledge or life experience that I did. However, these people can't help me in my life outside of Peace Corps.
It seems odd that the most selfish thing I have ever done is also the most selfless thing I have ever done, but the two are not mutually exclusive. Nothing seems so contradictory about the fact that helping others also helps yourself. I also don't see a problem in allowing myself to reap some benefits from serving others.

Only What I Want To Do

Over the past two years I have met with what is both a unique challenge and a unique opportunity. The truth about Peace Corps work is that we have to make it happen ourselves. Although we are supposed to work directly on what our community needs and wants, that doesn't mean that we are obligated to do anything that our community asks. We have the option of picking and choosing our work and projects. Which, when weighed against the fact that we pretty much have to pick our projects then do all the legwork to make them happen, means that we have complete oversight over our work.
So I have been doing only those things that I have wanted to do over the last two years. And if I did anything I didn't want to do, it was completely my fault and nobody else's. I can't think of a time in my life that I can say the same thing about. Before Peace Corps my life consisted almost entirely of school, and although I have a lot to say on that subject, the truth is that I was forever obligated to work on someone else's schedule and turn in projects, papers, and assignments at the whim of somebody else. And I am staring point blank into returning to the US and jumping into work. That means that I will be part of the "normal" working world where I am responsible for deadlines, goals and productivity. And while ideally the goals and efforts of my employer will line up with my own, that isn't always the case and everyone feels some pressure over their work.
So it is with a great appreciation, and a great deal of sorrow that I look back on this mythical experience I have had, in which I am free to do whatever I want, whenever I want with whomever I want and for the most part it is work. For example, one of the Peace Corps' three main goals is to promote cultural understanding on the part of host country nationals, so anytime I stop and talk to people in my town about how life is different here, then I am contributing to that goal. Or choosing not get involved with environment committees in the local schools and not to get involved in other activities like soliciting money to renovate a community center. I have had complete oversight over my time management, my community involvement, my project work, my image and almost every aspect of my life. And while it wasn't a complete change, nor exactly as I would want to lead my life in an ideal situation, it taught me a lot about myself and how I conduct my life.